Do you ever think if you if you could just get your mind to shut up and quiet down, you might not be so tense or anxious or stressed? Does your mind seem to want to chatter incessantly,

from things important:  ”What all do I need to accomplish today?”

to the unimportant:  ”I love her dress. Wonder where she got it?”

to the downright ridiculous:  “Why are chipmunks so small?” 

to the worse–self-loathing: “I am boiling with anger and could just lose my temper..how embarrassing. No one would accept me if they knew the real me,”  -or whatever it is you tell yourself about yourself that beats you down.

And still it goes on–in the shower, in the car, as you try to go to sleep. The chatter never stops and is relentless with its throbbing words. Meanwhile, your spouse, who goes to sleep within 2 minutes, often answers the “What are you thinking about?” with an honest, “Nothing,” and you wonder, HOW IN THE WORLD!!! JUST ONCE I’D LIKE TO SAY THAT AND IT BE TRUE!  And of course the chatter really goes haywire.  It really flourishes with brutal comparisons.

Buddhism has a term for this, translated as the “the monkey mind,”  which describes the restless, unsettled brain that jumps like a monkey from tree to tree, always active, always yakking.  I love the visualization of all these monkeys in my brain, because it sounds pretty accurate!

The result of this monkey mind, at least for me, is a generalized feeling of stress, fatigue, coupled with a variety of emotions that go across the feeling spectrum. It reminds of the line in “Lullabye” by Shawn Mullins: “she can’t let go and she can’t relax.”  Sound familiar?

How can we shut up the monkey mind or somehow unplug it?

We try in a variety ways which for mostly involve avoidance–TV (a Friends marathon is perfect!), music, a glass of wine, Words with Friends,  or time with actual friends. And all this can be good and helpful. Sometimes though we begin to ah, linger on these things; thus we binge watch, binge eat, or binge…add in whatever yours are.

In a word, we avoid facing our monkey mind because we feel it is useless to do anything else and often because we know there are things in there we don’t want to deal with that are too hurtful or scary.

Are there things we can do to quiet our minds and how much will it cost us?

I’ve been asking myself this for years and have found some help along the way–some good practices, some bad ones, some that work, some that don’t. Avoidance or numbing are among my favorites but are total failures, causing the monkeys to just chatter more and louder.

This is the first in a series of blog posts where we’ll explore this topic.

Let me go ahead and give away the biggest piece we’ll be exploring, what I believe is the key to quieting the monkey mind: Daily time of quiet, attentive solitude & presence.  

If that doesn’t interest you or you already have a quiet mind (congratulations, by the way!!), then these posts will not be for you. But if your soul says, “Yes! I know this is true! Help me! Let’s consider this together,” then come on back.  If this monkey mind can try it, yours can to0.

NEXT BLOG POST: Unplugging the monkey mind: solitude everyday? What do you mean? What do I do?  Am I chanting or what?  Do I need to be religious or spiritual?